Hooray for storytime!

I went to the YSA rep meeting with the Institute Council on Sunday. We met together, then split into the two groups again. Afterwards, we had apple pie and ice cream. I went into the kitchen to help serve ice cream, and the last person to come get some was my friend Spence.

Allow me to interject to explain something: Spence is a fun kid. I met him about a month ago, and we discovered almost immediately that we had a lot in common. Spence strikes me as a fun kid, but somewhat shy. I'd been getting the feeling lately that he wants to ask me out, but he's the kind that will admire from afar for years before he gets up the courage. I'm not especially interested in having a serious relationship with him at the moment, but you never know.

That, and I'd been craving a beach day for about a month and the weather this week is supposed to be beautiful.

I turned this over in my mind a bit as we stood across the counter from each other and people walked through the kitchen. When it was just the two of us, I looked at him and said "so when can I steal you for a beach date?"

And after recovering from the shock, he whipped out his work schedule. We came up with a very basic game plan and left it at that.

He called me the next day (yesterday) and we talked for awhile, figuring out schedules and making more specific plans. Actually, it was more like I made the plans and he rambled nervously. He sounded so nervous. It was adorable! So here's the game plan:

I'm driving down to his house (he lives in league city, half way between pearland and the beach) on thursday after class, and we'll take his car the rest of the way to the beach. he's bringing dinner, I'm bringing... everything else. Some of it he doesn't know about.

And I'm debating whether we should go down to the sea wall, or if we should ride the ferry over to Bolivar Peninsula. We can drive his car right onto the beach if we go to Bolivar, which means we can pop in some music and dance on the beach under the stars. Aww, how cute. (I'm so romantic sometimes I want to puke ;op) Hmm, choices choices... and the last time I was down on the peninsula, the group I was with was the only group around. maybe that's too secluded... I don't know. But then, I don't know if candles are allowed on the seawall, but we built a bonfire on the peninsula. perhaps we should stick to the seawall this time, and do the peninsula at another time, if things get more serious. I'm torn.

Opinions will be great. I'm just going, right now, to have a good time with a friend. If sparks fly then I'll catch fire, but I won't be disappointed if they don't. Opinions please!

(P.S. for the record: I wore the pants in the relationship this time, but if he wants a second date, he has to do the asking/planning. Pants are great, but right now skirts are more comfortable.)

got this from Julia, and I likes-ed it.

-To every girl that dresses cute, not skanky


-To every girl who wants to be called beautiful, not hot.


-To every girl that will spend her whole day looking for the perfect birthday present for you.


-To every girl who gets her heart broken because he chose the "whore" instead.



-To every girl that would die to have a decent boyfriend.


-To every girl that wont settle for the jerk.


-To every girl who would just like once to be treated like a princess.


-To every girl that cries at night because of another heartbreak.


-To every girl that wont get down on her knees and open her mouth just to get a boyfriend.


-To every girl that just wants to hold hands


-To every girl that kisses him with meaning.


-To every girl who just wishes he cared.


-To every girl who would just once want a guy to give their jacket up when they are cold.


-To every girl who just wants him to call.


-To every girl who lies awake at night thinking about him.


-To every girl that just wants to cuddle.


-To every girl that is scared to put her heart out there again because she has been hurt so many times or so badly.


-To every girl who shows how much she cares and gets nothing back.


-To every girl that thought maybe this could be the one.


-To every girl that believes in her dreams.


-To every girl that would do anything so she could achieve those dreams.



-To every girl who is just looking for that one and only and is having a rough time along the way.


-To every girl that has been cheated on cuz shes not a whore who gives it up to any guy.


-To every girl that doesnt want a guy who just plays with her emotions but actually cares about how she feels.


-To every girl who wants words backed up with actions.


- To every girl that fell for all the lies only to find themselves alone in the end.


-To every girl that gave her heart away to have it shoved back in her face.

Heck yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We took our first major test in A&P lecture on Thursday. I was kind of worried about it. I made a 94!!!!!! Heck yes!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just had to celebrate my victory. On to other items of business.

I think R-Jay wants to date me. He's a very cuddly guy, like a big teddy bear. The second or third time I ever saw him after we met (through Krista, who is also very close to him) he would put his arm around my waist or hug me from behind, his chin resting on my shoulder. K told me from the get go that that's just his way. He's a sweet kid. Anyway. 

He came over Saturday night (he'd had an errand to run in Pearland, supposedly) and I took him to the park. He didn't swing. (Tangent #1: is it just that guys are insecure about swinging, even in the dark when no one else is around? seriously. Peter said he couldn't swing because he got motion sickness, which is understandable. I asked R-Jay if he gets motion sickness from swinging and he said no, but he still wouldn't swing becasue he was wearing flip flops and "his feet were cold." It's always something. I think they're jsut making up excuses. Okay, end of Tangent #1.)

It's no fun swinging if the person you're with is just standing there watching you, so I got off and we went and stood on one of the playground tower things, by the top of a slide. He got behind me and used me as a windblock (we both had on jackets but he was still cold. Texas wimp.) So we're standing there, he's got his arms around me and his hands on my stomach (Tangent #2: he kept his hands outside my shirt, for which i later thanked him and would like to give him MAJOR kudos. Peter liked to stand behind me and have his hands on my tummy too, only his hands would find their way under my shirt. I would pull his hands off of me, pull my shirt back down and replace his hands on top of my shirt, but after awhile they would find their way under again, and I made it a point to say "outside, the shirt, please" everytime I had to adjust his hands. It didn't do much good. Okay, end of Tangent #2.)

He turns me around, we hug and then pull back, then he starts going in like he's going to kiss me. Not knowing what else to do, I buzz my lips. He then kisses my chin. (Perhaps it was a fake out the whole time, or maybe the buzzing stopped him and he tried to cover by making it look like it was meant to be a fake out. Not sure.) He went in a couple more times, and every time I would buzz my lips, so he would kiss my chin, my cheek, my nose. after a while he asked me what I was doing, and I buzzed my lips in reply (and secretly I'm thinking "R-Jay, love ya to pieces, but what the heck are YOU doing?")

That's so weird! I don't want to date R-Jay! Weird! He's an awesome friend and I love him to pieces, but my goodness I don't want to date him. I went to church with my family today for the first hour, then drove over to his congregation for their session (he goes to a singles' congregation in houston. I've got a couple friends over there that I wanted to see.) I walk around between classes and talk to some of the people I know, and it seems like  he's... almost hurt... maybe jealous? that I'm not paying all my attention to him. It was weird. I went to another class instead of to his, and he seemed hurt by that, too. Dang it!

I guess this is what I get for trying to rush God into giving me opportunities to date. All the wrong people. Dang it. Curses, foiled again! But hey, I'm over my lonely spat for the next couple days. Thank you R-Jay, you got my mind off my perpetual loneliness. It's always something.

I don't think life cares for me much right now. went to the dance that I'd been counting down to on friday night, and the guy i'd met a couple weeks ago wasn't there. in fact, there couldn't have been more than 30 people there, all together. i thought valentine's was one of those dances that everyone went to. guess not.

they played amazed by lonestar, and I just about started crying. part of it was that I was watching my friend mark (who is an AMAZING dancer, been a professional swing dancer for several years) dance with a friend. he was holding her close and they were gliding across the floor; and i thought to myself, "my goodness, I need one of those." then I remembered that not too long ago, I had one. i drifted off into memories of Peter and I dancing on the driveway, holding each other so close. he was the one who taught me how to follow someone's lead. we were in his computer room, slow dancing to some music on his computer, and he taught me to follow his lead by holding me tight against him so that I could feel where his body moved, and get used to moving with it.

I just about started to cry. thank goodness the girl I went with didn't exactly want to be there either. the minute i told her I would be more than happy to leave, we were out of there.

I don't think it's that I miss peter in particular. I just miss being held, being close to someone (physically and emotionally.) The distance I'm keeping between me and Rusty isn't helping either. I'm not about to trust him again the way I did before, but at the same time I think the friendship we previously had took the edge off my loneliness. Anyway, someone male and not related would hold/cuddle with me. It's been hard lately, dealing with both. I suppose it was easier before peter b/c, at the very least, I didn't know just how great things could be. now that I've been there, the fact that I can't seem to get it back seems even harder.

I never did cry over him. Maybe I just need to wallow. good ol' gilmore girls.